“For it is my Father’s will that all who see his Son and believe in him should have eternal life. I will raise them up at the last day.”
John 6:40
My life has never been an easy one. From the moment of my birth, I had the role of a scapegoat who had no choice but to carry the blame of others. Early on, I realized that I’d incarnated into a spiritual prison, only I didn’t understand the reason behind it. Despite severe treatment by those who were supposed to protect me and the bullying I experienced from the world around me, I decided to hold on to hope that one day I’d be set free.
I grew up in a strict Roman Catholic environment. Everything was mechanical and according to tradition. Love was like a fairytale I only heard about on TV or read in books. It seemed out of my reach, something I was never good enough for.
In my teen years, I denied going to catholic church. My family didn’t mind that I “strayed” from their ways. In my early 20s, I became a single mother, and the New Age I was into, combined with the narcissistic abuse, got me on my knees, and I begged God to take my life. I believed in reincarnation, and a new life was all I wanted. Soon after, I found myself in the ER with a life-threatening condition. I thought that was it. I asked for it, and now my prayer was getting answered. Suddenly, as I lay in the hospital’s hallway, I saw something like a shower of light pouring down on me. It revived me and gave me faith. I was speechless. Within a few hours, I left the hospital on my own and decided to pursue God. I was told, “You are born again,” and I believed it.
My newfound faith in God brought a backlash from my family and friends to such extent that it forced me to move abroad. But, even then, I was still taunted by their guilt trips and manipulations. After two years, I returned to the States, joined a Non-denominational church, and got a water baptism. I received a certificate which stated that I also received the Holy Spirit. I believed it.
As years went by, I felt spiritually stuck. I wanted to learn more and go to the next level, but my biblical questions went unanswered. People told me we don’t need to understand everything but have faith. It made me very uncomfortable, so I left the church as it felt like a waste of time. My health was declining once again. At that time, I was living with my mother, who tried her best to make me insane. Something happened – a perfect storm. It was an accumulation of the hatred and blame she burdened me with, along with the constant rejection and ridicule. It reached its limit, turned to wrath, and broke loose. My dream came true; I got rid of a narcissist. A lot of things got into the open. All the tears I kept from letting out needed to flow.
One day, I looked at the world around me and hated it with all my heart. I did not want to be part of it anymore. I saw no point in going through the motions. It all seemed so pointless. My body was on the verge of collapsing from chronic pain and exhaustion. I also got my heart broken. This anguish was so intense that it put me on my knees, and I yelled to God to help me and get me out of there (if my neighbors were home, they would hear me). I just wanted this nightmare to end. I was guided to this verse:
Matthew 6:23
“But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!”
Only then, I realized that I was not born again at all. Although I have not repeated physical sins and kept myself pure – in my heart was darkness. I was not a new person. I was still harboring hatred, envy, jealousy, and lust. God showed me that I have not repented from spiritual sins! I had no idea that those were sins I needed to repent from. I did not delay.
Filled with grief and sorrow, I turned to God in prayer and judged myself guilty of breaking all His laws. I exposed everything in confession. I thought of every commandment and how I broke it. I knew I deserved to die. I hated my life. I said, “God, before you take my life, I forgive everyone who hurt me. Please, forgive them, too.”
At this point, I lay on the floor crying, and I saw myself from above. It felt like I was seeing myself from God’s perspective, and I felt compassion. I understood why all these things happened to me; I forgave myself, too. I still expected to die, but I did not. I lay in bed for the next three days, unable to move or eat. I was fighting off the devil in my mind, who relentlessly attacked me with vile memories, insults, and traumas. I kept telling him to get away from me. If I had to describe death – that was it. I know now that I was getting purified, and it felt like my soul was on fire.
On the 3rd day, I got up, refreshed and joyful. I felt as if I had a new body. No pain and no misery. Suddenly, the Glory of God appeared before my eyes! I recognized Him and said, “Jesus, it’s you!” as I stood in awe! He forgave me and filled me with His Spirit. The Glory I saw entered me. Then, I involuntarily shouted, “Abba Father!” I ran to my daughter to tell her what happened, and we both heard a trumpet sound outside the window! It was pure happiness and cheer! It was the day I dreamed about since I could remember. The day I got set free from the prison of an empty existence. It felt like getting up from the grave into a new life!
The Holy Spirit told me to preach the Good News as He opened my mind to understand the Scriptures. The first passage that He showed me was the confirmation of what happened:
Galatians 4:6-7
“And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “ABBA, FATHER.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.”
Romans 8:28-30
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, HE GAVE THEM HIS GLORY.”
My NEW LIFE in Holiness began on 9/25/2022. I’m filled with peace, joy, love, patience, and hope. I feel NO guilt, NO shame, and NO darkness. It’s all gone in a distant memory. My new life is in Christ and for Christ. I give all the Glory and Honor to my Creator! Our Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel! 💗
1 John 5:4-12
“For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God. And Jesus Christ was revealed as God’s Son by his baptism in water and by shedding his blood on the cross—not by water only, but by water and blood. And the Spirit, who is truth, confirms it with his testimony. So we have these THREE WITNESSES—THE SPIRIT, THE WATER, AND THE BLOOD—and ALL THREE AGREE. Since we believe human testimony, surely we can believe the greater testimony that comes from God. And God has testified about his Son. All who believe in the Son of God know in their hearts that this testimony is true. Those who don’t believe this are actually calling God a liar because they don’t believe what God has testified about his Son. And this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and THIS LIFE IS IN HIS SON. WHOEVER HAS THE SON HAS LIFE; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life.”
I pray that all who find this ministry, do so with open minds and hearts and take it to the next level. Genuine faith and repentance are commands and the gateway. I want all people to experience Salvation and share my love and joy, which come from God!
1 John 1:1-4
“We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen. We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is the Word of life. This one WHO IS LIFE ITSELF was revealed to us, and we have seen him. And now we testify and proclaim to you that HE IS THE ONE WHO IS ETERNAL LIFE. He was with the Father, and then he was revealed to us. We proclaim to you what we ourselves have actually seen and heard so that you may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We are writing these things so that you may fully share our joy.”
All Glory and Honor to Our God and Savior Jesus Christ! 💞
